Here at the Artsy Android, we disapprove of politics. It's noisy and doesn't involve enough cool high-tech gadgets. But we like political T-shirts anyway, provided that they don't actually make any sense!
Our latest venture is our "Outsource Immigration" T-shirt, which gives the impression of combining two issues in an innovative way, though we're pretty sure that the shirt means nothing at all. We hope so, anyway.
Mystify your friends! With a little luck, they will be impressed by the depth and subtlety of your insight. Wouldn't that be a welcome change?
Friday, August 21, 2009
Friday Night Party-Girl T-Shirt
Inspired by Alice in Wonderland, this semi-jaded, Friday-night party-girl T-shirt says it all.
Monday, August 10, 2009
How to Hypnotize A Man in Fifteen Seconds
Hypnosis is a fascinating technology, especially when done well. One can hardly do it better than this:
Preliminary testing has shown that this T-shirt can induce a deep hypnotic trance in 93% of men and raise 6% of corpses from the dead.
The power of the twin spirals (or "hypnodiscs"), combined with the undeniably fascination of a woman's form (or "boobs"), create a synergy that must be experienced to be believed. The technical term is "hypno-boobs."
The T-shirt not only induces a hypnotic trance: it contains a hypnotic suggestion: Soon You Will Obey. Through the power of hypnosis, the entire process of courtship has been captured on a T-shirt!
Preliminary testing has shown that this T-shirt can induce a deep hypnotic trance in 93% of men and raise 6% of corpses from the dead.
The power of the twin spirals (or "hypnodiscs"), combined with the undeniably fascination of a woman's form (or "boobs"), create a synergy that must be experienced to be believed. The technical term is "hypno-boobs."
The T-shirt not only induces a hypnotic trance: it contains a hypnotic suggestion: Soon You Will Obey. Through the power of hypnosis, the entire process of courtship has been captured on a T-shirt!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
A T-Shirt for T-Shirt Haters
Here at Artsy Android, we have a T-shirt for everyone. Don't like T-shirts? You're in luck -- we have a T-shirt just for you! We call it, "No T-Shirts." Check it out:
Artsy Android: The Hindenburg of T-Shirt Shops.
Artsy Android: The Hindenburg of T-Shirt Shops.
A Fanboy's Guide to Romance With Yaoi Fangirls
What's up with all these yaoi fangirls, anyway?
To a lot of guys, yaoi comes as a bit of a shock. I mean, nothing in their upbringing prepares them for the concept of straight girls reading gay, guy-on-guy fiction, let alone writing their own Draco Malfoy x Harry Potter fanfiction or running around in packs at anime conventions, squeeing over anything bishi!
This is enough to make any guy thoughtful. "With all this limp-wristed swishiness going on," he might think to himself, "Where to I fit in? And what the heck is going on here, anyway?" Do not despair! Romance and Yaoi Fangirls go together like Harry and Draco ... I mean, Harry and Hermione ... you know what I mean.
Disassembling the female psyche and revealing its inner workings is a task beyond even Professor Fixbot, so let me focus on the practical lowdown: all this squeeing and glomping and fanfiction writing and obsessing is just the tip of the iceberg, dudes. It's just a hint of the energy and passion that is bubbling away inside these fangirls. And all the hottest girls are fangirls. Fact of nature. What you want to do with yaoi fangirls is encourage them. Stir them up. It's like playing with matches in a fireworks factory.
Let's face it, the girls don't actually care if you like yaoi. They want you to like them. So if you can find a series that you both like, she can squee over the bishi boys and you can drool over the sexy android, or whatever it is that turns your crank.
Same with fanfiction. You can tell her, "It makes me uncomfortable to read your Harry/Draco makeout scenes. Could you write me one involving Hermione?" (Or the babe of your choice.) This will work! Extra credit if you can truthfully say, "You remind me of her, you know."
At conventions, if you don't want to dress up all bishi, that's fine, but keep in mind that, if you do, legions of girls will follow you around like puppies. It's your call. Be a manly man with a wide circle of empty personal space, or be a manly man in a clever bishi disguise and be glomped halfway to death. Professor Fixbot knows which one he prefers!
And now that I've told you the secret to lifelong romance and happiness, bop on over to the Artsy Android store and buy a T-shirt for your favorite girl! It's the least you can do.
make custom gifts at Zazzle
To a lot of guys, yaoi comes as a bit of a shock. I mean, nothing in their upbringing prepares them for the concept of straight girls reading gay, guy-on-guy fiction, let alone writing their own Draco Malfoy x Harry Potter fanfiction or running around in packs at anime conventions, squeeing over anything bishi!
This is enough to make any guy thoughtful. "With all this limp-wristed swishiness going on," he might think to himself, "Where to I fit in? And what the heck is going on here, anyway?" Do not despair! Romance and Yaoi Fangirls go together like Harry and Draco ... I mean, Harry and Hermione ... you know what I mean.
Disassembling the female psyche and revealing its inner workings is a task beyond even Professor Fixbot, so let me focus on the practical lowdown: all this squeeing and glomping and fanfiction writing and obsessing is just the tip of the iceberg, dudes. It's just a hint of the energy and passion that is bubbling away inside these fangirls. And all the hottest girls are fangirls. Fact of nature. What you want to do with yaoi fangirls is encourage them. Stir them up. It's like playing with matches in a fireworks factory.
Let's face it, the girls don't actually care if you like yaoi. They want you to like them. So if you can find a series that you both like, she can squee over the bishi boys and you can drool over the sexy android, or whatever it is that turns your crank.
Same with fanfiction. You can tell her, "It makes me uncomfortable to read your Harry/Draco makeout scenes. Could you write me one involving Hermione?" (Or the babe of your choice.) This will work! Extra credit if you can truthfully say, "You remind me of her, you know."
At conventions, if you don't want to dress up all bishi, that's fine, but keep in mind that, if you do, legions of girls will follow you around like puppies. It's your call. Be a manly man with a wide circle of empty personal space, or be a manly man in a clever bishi disguise and be glomped halfway to death. Professor Fixbot knows which one he prefers!
And now that I've told you the secret to lifelong romance and happiness, bop on over to the Artsy Android store and buy a T-shirt for your favorite girl! It's the least you can do.
make custom gifts at Zazzle
Friday, August 7, 2009
Designing Light T-Shirts vs. Dark
Zazzle has two basic kinds of t-shirt artwork: one for light t-shirts and one for dark t-shirts. Who cares? What difference does it make?
It turns out that it makes a lot of difference. Zazzle uses a different transfer technology for the two kinds of shirt. The artwork on a light T-shirt is basically an ink transfer: the area of the shirt with the artwork is just as soft and breathable as the rest of the shirt.
That's good, right? Well, yes, it is. But the images on a light t-shirt aren't opaque. The base color of the shirt shows through. So if you have a picture of white fluffy clouds and put it on a yellow shirt, you get yellow fluffy clouds. Yipe!
Here's an example of how Beth McBeth looks on a light green T-shirt:
Even Beth finds that is ain't easy being green. For light T-shirt transfers, white and almost-white colors are your friend.
On a white shirt, the bleed-through can be used to your advantage. Because "white" means "transparent" on a light T-shirt, any picture with a white background behaves as if you'd done the laborious task of masking out the background and marking it as "transparent" in your photo-editing software. Many people don't know how to do this. If you use a white background and white T-shirts, you don't have to learn.
Zazzle's dark T-shirts use an opaque, rubbery transfer that allows you to put down a brilliant white wherever you want, including having white on a black T-shirt. All you goths out there need this! I haven't done a side-by-side test, but I suspect that the colors on a dark T-shirt are brighter, too. But the area with the transfer isn't soft and breathable the way it is on a light T-shirt.
On a dark T-shirt, Zazzle has a checkbox to let you pick whether "white" means "transparent" or "opaque white." Quite a difference! This allows you to take your image file with its white background and have the background go transparent on the shirt. Here's an example with transparent white on a brown shirt:
Ouch! Nasty! Big chunks of the image that we wanted to be opaque went transparent!
Okay, how about opaque white?
No ... I don't think so.
So what you really want is an image that has the background marked explicitly as "transparent." Zazzle will honor this. Transparency is supported by the GIF and PNG formats. The kind of image software that comes free with your camera or scanner probably doesn't let you do this, but if your software can handle it, it lets you do masking that works very well. Here's Beth on a dark brown shirt:
That's more like it!
Once you have masking and transparency working properly, dark T-shirts are a very flexible medium.
Happy masking!
It turns out that it makes a lot of difference. Zazzle uses a different transfer technology for the two kinds of shirt. The artwork on a light T-shirt is basically an ink transfer: the area of the shirt with the artwork is just as soft and breathable as the rest of the shirt.
That's good, right? Well, yes, it is. But the images on a light t-shirt aren't opaque. The base color of the shirt shows through. So if you have a picture of white fluffy clouds and put it on a yellow shirt, you get yellow fluffy clouds. Yipe!
Here's an example of how Beth McBeth looks on a light green T-shirt:
Even Beth finds that is ain't easy being green. For light T-shirt transfers, white and almost-white colors are your friend.
On a white shirt, the bleed-through can be used to your advantage. Because "white" means "transparent" on a light T-shirt, any picture with a white background behaves as if you'd done the laborious task of masking out the background and marking it as "transparent" in your photo-editing software. Many people don't know how to do this. If you use a white background and white T-shirts, you don't have to learn.
Zazzle's dark T-shirts use an opaque, rubbery transfer that allows you to put down a brilliant white wherever you want, including having white on a black T-shirt. All you goths out there need this! I haven't done a side-by-side test, but I suspect that the colors on a dark T-shirt are brighter, too. But the area with the transfer isn't soft and breathable the way it is on a light T-shirt.
On a dark T-shirt, Zazzle has a checkbox to let you pick whether "white" means "transparent" or "opaque white." Quite a difference! This allows you to take your image file with its white background and have the background go transparent on the shirt. Here's an example with transparent white on a brown shirt:
Ouch! Nasty! Big chunks of the image that we wanted to be opaque went transparent!
Okay, how about opaque white?
No ... I don't think so.
So what you really want is an image that has the background marked explicitly as "transparent." Zazzle will honor this. Transparency is supported by the GIF and PNG formats. The kind of image software that comes free with your camera or scanner probably doesn't let you do this, but if your software can handle it, it lets you do masking that works very well. Here's Beth on a dark brown shirt:
That's more like it!
Once you have masking and transparency working properly, dark T-shirts are a very flexible medium.
Happy masking!
Sunday, August 2, 2009
"In Touch With My Inner Child," Artwork by Beth McBeth!
Beth McBeth is one of our resident artists, and is also the model in our best-selling Farmers Get All the Chicks T-shirt and one of the Back to the Land T-shirts.
We've just come out with our first T-shirt featuring Beth's original artwork, In Touch With My Inner Child. Though the theme is universal, we think the shirt would be particularly fun on girls (for the irony), and grandmas (because there's nothing like grandchildren to put you in touch with your own inner child).
We'll be featuring many more of Beth's artworks as time goes by.
make custom gifts at Zazzle
We've just come out with our first T-shirt featuring Beth's original artwork, In Touch With My Inner Child. Though the theme is universal, we think the shirt would be particularly fun on girls (for the irony), and grandmas (because there's nothing like grandchildren to put you in touch with your own inner child).
We'll be featuring many more of Beth's artworks as time goes by.
make custom gifts at Zazzle
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
