A Fanboy's Guide to Romance With Yaoi Fangirls

What's up with all these yaoi fangirls, anyway?

To a lot of guys, yaoi comes as a bit of a shock. I mean, nothing in their upbringing prepares them for the concept of straight girls reading gay, guy-on-guy fiction, let alone writing their own Draco Malfoy x Harry Potter fanfiction or running around in packs at anime conventions, squeeing over anything bishi!

This is enough to make any guy thoughtful. "With all this limp-wristed swishiness going on," he might think to himself, "Where to I fit in? And what the heck is going on here, anyway?" Do not despair! Romance and Yaoi Fangirls go together like Harry and Draco ... I mean, Harry and Hermione ... you know what I mean.

Disassembling the female psyche and revealing its inner workings is a task beyond even Professor Fixbot, so let me focus on the practical lowdown: all this squeeing and glomping and fanfiction writing and obsessing is just the tip of the iceberg, dudes. It's just a hint of the energy and passion that is bubbling away inside these fangirls. And all the hottest girls are fangirls. Fact of nature. What you want to do with yaoi fangirls is encourage them. Stir them up. It's like playing with matches in a fireworks factory.

Let's face it, the girls don't actually care if you like yaoi. They want you to like them. So if you can find a series that you both like, she can squee over the bishi boys and you can drool over the sexy android, or whatever it is that turns your crank.

Same with fanfiction. You can tell her, "It makes me uncomfortable to read your Harry/Draco makeout scenes. Could you write me one involving Hermione?" (Or the babe of your choice.) This will work! Extra credit if you can truthfully say, "You remind me of her, you know."

At conventions, if you don't want to dress up all bishi, that's fine, but keep in mind that, if you do, legions of girls will follow you around like puppies. It's your call. Be a manly man with a wide circle of empty personal space, or be a manly man in a clever bishi disguise and be glomped halfway to death. Professor Fixbot knows which one he prefers!

And now that I've told you the secret to lifelong romance and happiness, bop on over to the Artsy Android store and buy a T-shirt for your favorite girl! It's the least you can do.


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